Freedom and love do not breed narcissists

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This reference is used to annotate "I would never send my kids to school" (2017) by Piotr Wozniak

Dr Eileen Kennedy-Moore is a psychologist whose work focuses on social and emotional development. She knows a thing or two about emotional health. She has recently criticized how mass media distort research in psychology to serve their own message, esp. in the area of "convenient parenting".

In her text "How to NOT Raise a Narcissist" she explains that in a healthy setting parents are naturally equipped with all the necessary instincts needed to raise a healthy child. If we forget the destructive forces of modern dog-eat-dog society, the trouble begins when we try to micromanage those natural forces with tools and rules that serve adult convenience. Science is often used as a prop for a pseudoscientific message.

Here is an excerpt (shortened):

A new study by Eddie Brummelman sheds some light on the origins of narcissism in children. The researchers assessed over 500 seven- to 12-years olds and their parents four times over the course of 18 months. They found that greater child-rated parental warmth, measured by items such as “My father/mother lets me know he/she loves me,” predicted higher self-esteem six months later, but not greater narcissism. On the other hand parental overvaluation, measured with items such as “My child is more special than other children,” predicted greater narcissism six months later, but not higher self-esteem. This is an important study, because it’s prospective and longitudinal (rather than just a cross-sectional snapshot).

Here’s what the study does NOT say:

  • It does NOT say, “Let your child fail!”
  • It does NOT say, “Too much praise can turn your kids into narcissistic jerks!”
  • It does NOT say, “Coddling parents may make you a narcissist!”

These recent headlines miss the point of the study


Quoted excerpts come from the following reference:

Title: How to NOT Raise a Narcissist

Author: Eileen Kennedy-Moore Ph.D.

Date: Mar 10, 2015

Link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/growing-friendships/201503/how-not-raise-narcissist

Backlink: Optimization of behavioral spaces in development